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Old February 09, 2011, 18:37   #1
GSP228
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Shallow End of the Gene Pool

A local idiot had to call the fire dept. when his vacuum cleaner caught fire. Normally not a really big deal, but his flaming Hoover lit the tub of gasoline that he had just sucked out of the tank of his pickup truck with the vacuum. He saved his truck, but his carport didn't fare as well. FedGov will probably reimburse him. I imagine it was Bush's fault anyway.
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Old February 09, 2011, 18:53   #2
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I hear dem banjo's playin
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Old February 09, 2011, 20:01   #3
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We had a local case in southern Oregon. A guy had caught a case of the crabs. Someone told him that kerosene would kill them. Well all he had was a 5 gallon can of gas.

He poured it in his tub and was splashing it around his nether regions when the phone rang.

He walked to the phone leaving a trail of gas....right by the propane heater.

Blew all of the windows out of the single wide as well as him out the front door.

He was naked, in the lawn, and still smoking a bit when the ambulance arrived.

The burns weren't nearly as bad as they could have been...and they still had to treat him for the crabs while he was in the ICU
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Old February 09, 2011, 20:26   #4
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Quote:
Originally posted by medicmike
We had a local case in southern Oregon. A guy had caught a case of the crabs. Someone told him that kerosene would kill them. Well all he had was a 5 gallon can of gas.

He poured it in his tub and was splashing it around his nether regions when the phone rang.

He walked to the phone leaving a trail of gas....right by the propane heater.

Blew all of the windows out of the single wide as well as him out the front door.

He was naked, in the lawn, and still smoking a bit when the ambulance arrived.

The burns weren't nearly as bad as they could have been...and they still had to treat him for the crabs while he was in the ICU
Real life is so much funnier than fiction.
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Old February 09, 2011, 20:40   #5
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Not as dramatic, but a hoot nontheless, my mother got my stepfather a large shop vac for Christmas and the first thing he used it for was to sweep the cold dead (he thought) ashes from the fireplace. after he finished, he wheeled it out to the garage. the next morning it was a large blob on the floor with a motor on top of it. He had a hell of a time chiseling it off the floor. His brother got an arc welder with no goggles, so he used it with his foster grants. I think his family had a dominant death gene.
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Old February 09, 2011, 23:05   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by medicmike
We had a local case in southern Oregon. A guy had caught a case of the crabs. Someone told him that kerosene would kill them. Well all he had was a 5 gallon can of gas.

He poured it in his tub and was splashing it around his nether regions when the phone rang.

He walked to the phone leaving a trail of gas....right by the propane heater.

Blew all of the windows out of the single wide as well as him out the front door.

He was naked, in the lawn, and still smoking a bit when the ambulance arrived.

The burns weren't nearly as bad as they could have been...and they still had to treat him for the crabs while he was in the ICU
So THAT'S what happened to Ggiggliiee !
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Old February 10, 2011, 01:18   #7
def90
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Quote:
Originally posted by medicmike
We had a local case in southern Oregon. A guy had caught a case of the crabs. Someone told him that kerosene would kill them. Well all he had was a 5 gallon can of gas.

He poured it in his tub and was splashing it around his nether regions when the phone rang.

He walked to the phone leaving a trail of gas....right by the propane heater.

Blew all of the windows out of the single wide as well as him out the front door.

He was naked, in the lawn, and still smoking a bit when the ambulance arrived.

The burns weren't nearly as bad as they could have been...and they still had to treat him for the crabs while he was in the ICU

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Old February 10, 2011, 08:25   #8
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Filling yer tub with gasoline????? Wonder where he thought it was going to go when he pulled the plug? Mabey his neighbors well?

there is a logrythmic increase in stupidity these days

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Old February 10, 2011, 11:44   #9
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Originally posted by one hand clapping
Filling yer tub with gasoline????? Wonder where he thought it was going to go when he pulled the plug? Mabey his neighbors well?

there is a logrythmic increase in stupidity these days

OHC
I postulate that the historic rate of stupidity has remained more or less the same, while the rate of reporting has increased due to easily available media sources. Regardless, the amount of good, quality entertainment has increased, as well.
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Old February 10, 2011, 18:36   #10
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When I was working in EMS and anyone asked what I did, my standard response was "I interfere with natural selection"
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Old February 10, 2011, 18:43   #11
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yes, when I got promoted to "senior engineer" and had to supervise others, I called it "adult daycare".
Bob
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Old February 10, 2011, 21:21   #12
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Gas on crabs?? Why, everbody KNOWS ya soak the bush in kerosene, light it and as the crabs come runnin out ya stab em with an icepick.. sheesh.
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The best lack all conviction, while the worst
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