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Slaughter
May 15, 2017, 20:15
This is undoubtedly a repost but yet had me giggling!

Are you a Republican, a Democrat, or a Southerner? This little test will help you decide:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you…

You are carrying a .45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

******************************
Democrat’s Answer:

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! What is a .45 ACP?

Does the man look poor or oppressed? Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation?

Does the pistol have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. This is all so confusing!

******************************
Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

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Southerner’s Answer:

BANG!
BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click…..

(Sounds of reloading)

BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
Click.

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Federal Hollow Points?!”

Son: “Can I shoot the next one?!”

Wife: “You are NOT taking that to a Taxidermist!

suppressor
May 15, 2017, 20:39
Not even a double-tap from the Republican?

Was the southerner a blue-dog Democrat?

martin35
May 17, 2017, 07:03
I can imagine this being done as a satirical skit on Saturday Night Live,,, if someone held a gun on Lorne Green the producer.

Merl
May 17, 2017, 07:40
Not even a double-tap from the Republican?

Was the southerner a blue-dog Democrat?

Saving ammo for the rest.

KoKodog
May 17, 2017, 08:17
Ridge Running Redneck Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Son: Perfect Anchor Dad!

Daughter: Yeah Daddy, two to the chest, one between the eyes

Wife: You realize now they each want to do a Mogadishu drill on a terrorist …….

Ridge Running Redneck: Don’t worry kids, the city is a target rich environment, stand ready

TenTea
May 17, 2017, 08:31
I can imagine this being done as a satirical skit on Saturday Night Live,,, if someone held a gun on Lorne Green the producer.

Lorne Green
http://media.liveauctiongroup.net/i/11220/11545885_1.jpg?v%5Cx3d8CE7823EBFC7D40

Lorne Michaels
https://hbr.org/resources/images/article_assets/hbr/1309/R1309M_MICHAELS.jpg

xtremerange
May 17, 2017, 08:54
You mean like this guy last weekend:

http://www.oregonlive.com/clackamascounty/index.ssf/2017/05/man_walked_into_thriftway_with.html

http://media.oregonlive.com/clackamascounty_impact/photo/Josh%20Webb.jpeg