View Full Version : Did I screw up?

Joe Muffin
August 16, 2010, 06:12
Hey Guy's, Long story short..I divorced my cheating wife last November. She is shacking up with the scumbag and now my 4 year old son (who spends the majority of the time with her because I work night shift) is being exposed to a possible alcoholic. Being the concerned father that I am, I sent an e-mail to this dirtbag explaining that if he laid a finger on my son, well..he can read into the repercussions as he would like..I did not make a direct threat nor did I go into detail of what would happen. My question is..can this me misconstrued as a threat and could I have possibly exposed myself to possible problems with the law? Obviously I'm a gun guy..never been in any trouble with the law. It was a kneejerk reaction to what my son told me goes on at her home. The last thing I need are legal problems. What do you guy's think?

Survey Punk
August 16, 2010, 07:42
You should not have done it by email. It's a bloody glove and now he's got it and can show it to somebody at his pleasure.
A very quiet, 10 second, one on one, one way conversation would have served the same purpose and been much more effective.


August 16, 2010, 08:57
+1 to what Survey Punk said. You're supposed to be collecting evidence, not providing it.

Sorry to hear about this situation with your son. That's gotta suk! :redface:

August 16, 2010, 10:31
When you communicate vie telephonic, written notice, computer or telegraphic means, it could possibly be misconstrued as Harrassment. A long stretch, but if it is true, he may not want to bring up the details that he is actually a drunk. One on one conversation would have been only slightly better. At this point, by definition, one on one is not Harrassment, but then becomes Intimidation if given the chance. Be careful. It's probably best to think a little before reacting in these situations. A call to your attorney and possibly CPS when you definitely know that he is drinking heavily with the child in the house would have produced more results, as I have seen countless of these exact episodes and when the parent reacts in manners similar to your, it's never good. Good luck. Remember, your efforts are for the benefit of your child, not your ego or hurt pride.

Leland :fal:

P.I. Staker
August 16, 2010, 18:00
You just gave your ex-wife a reason to get a restraining order on you.

Pretty much, if you come on here after the fact and ask if ya screwed up, ya did.

Good luck on a crappy situation, wish ya well.

Mark IV
August 16, 2010, 22:45
Never, ever tip your hand!

You should have called Child Welfare and told them that your son's mother is living with an alcoholic and creating a dangerous environment for your son.

You threaten a guy's life ... in writing ... and you're a know gun owner. If somebody else offs this dude, you're going to be the first one to get blamed.

I know this is hindsight Brother, but watch what you say and do. This isn't the old days.

August 17, 2010, 03:43
Also the fallout will depend on the state - somewhere in the NE and expect a knock (or "no knock") any time. Somewhere in the South, you might get in trouble with the bureaucrats, but a jury of your peers would be fairly sympathetic.

Joe Muffin
August 17, 2010, 08:32
Guy's...you are all completely right. This had nothing to do with pride or my ego. It was a mistake..poor judgement on my part...However...I cannot begin to explain the Hell that I went through attempting to keep my marriage together. Lie after lie..I knew who he was. I was tempted to confront him in person a year ago but my better judgement told me nothing good would come from that. The victim most affected by this sad situation is my son. The trigger that I neglected to tell in my original post was what my son told me. My son told me that all three of them sleep together when Mommy's friend spends the night. (my son does not like to sleep alone) he is 4 and has suffered a bit through all of this even though the ex and I parted somewhat amicably..only because I wanted what was best for him and swallowed pretty much all of my pride in this situation. It just struck a nerve when he told me that. Who wouldn't be infuriated with such a revelation? Who wouldn't want to protect their child? It was still a dumb thing to do..it's done and I don't plan on any other communication with Mr Scumbag...unless he hurts my son..I don't make idle threats..nor did I threaten him with any examples of retribution. I simply said if he laid a finger on my son..well..he can take my warning any way he wants. Lesson learned. Thanks for the responses.

August 20, 2010, 18:36
call child services and start the war. there is something wrong here and you need to act .

Survey Punk
August 20, 2010, 19:40
Originally posted by dbl-haul
call child services and start the war. there is something wrong here and you need to act .

I disagree. Don't get Government involved. Government sucks.
See my post above.


August 20, 2010, 21:08
Functioning alcoholics raised half of the worlds population, that would include many here. Infants and toddlers often won't be satisfied without mommies presence.
If adult conjugal relations are being preformed in the Child's presence that can be called child abuse depending on the jurisdiction a written threat that implies bodily harm is assault and can be a felony.
I have the complete unabridged Perry Mason collection and Perry could put the Pope in the slammer.
i don't recommend that you question your son that could be construed as planting thoughts in a child's mind, but if you have a reason to believe some evil is befalling your kid see the authorities and let the chips fall where they may, everyone can get revenge after they serve their time.

August 20, 2010, 23:25
I simply told my ex that if anyone ever hurts one of my sons, I would move heaven and earth to see that person put in prison.

Work within the system, do what's best for your son, never seek revenge, act with honor and love. Know you can do no good for your son if you're in prison. It's a hard path to walk, but when your son is grown, you'll know the sacrifices were worth it

August 27, 2010, 00:33
i think you already knew you stepped on your dick as soon as you sent the email which really could come back to bite you in the ass. is there a possibility you can switch to another shift in order to get custody of your son???? getting custody of your son would be your best course of action if you're concerned about the environment your ex is raising him in.