View Full Version : Groucho Report - Evil 1; a closet de-linker!

March 07, 2004, 22:27
Yes folks, this is the fourth installment of the Groucho Report. In the past, I have revealed to you the fact that the Moderators control the weather to make you buy more kits, that they were failed grocery store baggers (would you like plastic or paper?), and that they control the supply of kits for fun and profit.

However, I have it from my many source that the prime, Evil Moderator, is a closet de-linker!!:uhoh: Yes, it's true!! By his own words, he has admitted that he has no life......"ANd I spent ALL night de-linking it for the shoot!" This seemingly insignificant statement was put out by him in the Ammunition forum! He spent a Friday night merrily de-linking ammunition from belts when "normal" folk would be out partying and enjoying adult beverages!

I'm NOT making this up!!

Let's wind back the hands of time for a moment: I seem to recall a report that came out of the Military Acadamy where "someone" had de-linked practice machine gun ammunition sometime in the 1970's or early '80's. When was Ted (the Evil Moderator) there?. Also, Ted, by his own admission, was in Desert Storm, right? Well, part of the reason we were able to roll over the Iraqi's so easily was that their machine gun ammunition was de-linked!! Hey, this isn't a joke, folks. I would submit that he was dropped in behind enemy lines and made up to look like a typical Iraqi soldier and he went to work de-linking all of their machine gun ammo!!

And, think about his social life. There's Ted, bragging to his buddies about how he could keep going all night de-linking ammo. Some blonde hears the "keep going all night" part of the sentence and comes on to him, hoping for a fulfilling evening. Up to his room she goes, gets "ready", only to find that he wants her to help him de-link ammunition!! Imagine how many frustrated women are out there!! Is it any wonder that the N.O.W. gang got started??!!:rofl:

Folks, The Evil One needs help. He is a certified de-linker! Please send money to the "Groucho Home for De-Linkers Anonymous." We can help him. Trust me. Just send your funds.

Next report will follow as needed.


Bruce Allen
March 07, 2004, 23:47
Some are delinkers and some are reporters... who says God does not have a sense of humor. :)

March 08, 2004, 06:51

Forgive me groucho, for I have de-linked.........................

March 08, 2004, 10:17
Don't play with your ammo or you will go blind...AMHIK!

English Mike
March 08, 2004, 10:45
EMD admits that he's a delinkuent.
Who'd have thought it:p :D :D

PBR Streetgang
March 08, 2004, 10:51
All night eh? Glad there's no prematue.....NEVERMIND!

March 08, 2004, 14:13
Originally posted by ENGLISH MIKE
EMD admits that he's a delinkuent.
Who'd have thought it:p :D :D

You guys are (properly) merciless!

March 08, 2004, 19:46
Hmmmmm...... an ammo fondler....:uhoh:

March 08, 2004, 20:42
Originally posted by EMDII

Forgive me groucho, for I have de-linked.........................

It is good to admit your transgression, my son. Now, do ten Hail FAL's and load twenty magazines whilst saying, "Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa."

March 08, 2004, 21:37
I feel sooo DIRTY...so used......like I've been left holding a DNA stained dress....OH the HORROR of it all....

Saturday, at the Ga FALers 2nd annual FAL only match, EMDII pulled up and greeted me as a long lost FRIEND. The hugs and handshake were so warm...so genuine...then he looked around as if to to share some devine secret knowledge...ONLY for my ears...I had been CHOOSEN!!!! My heart rose!!!

He reached into his open car trunk and stuck a bloated plastic baggy in my hand....he siad "Here, this is for YOU...take it before the others come back..."

I thought I'd been given a SPECIAL gift from the God(S)...

I looked in the bag and found hundreds of M-13 links....I thought to myself.." Myself, he thinks your worthy of CLASS III...I have been given the ULIMATE blessing from above....I CAN own Class III....TED has pre-ordained it"

NOW....I find the blessing HOLLOW...the gift STAINED, TAINTED.....oh, how I am CRUSHED....he was USING me to HIDE his SINS.......I feel sooo....soooo CHEAP!

I have the PROOF of his sins...I have the FRUIT of his labors....HIS FINGER PRINTS smudge EVERY LINK...(except the ones I took out...)....the plastic is from HIS pantry.....the bag is HIS BRAND...

I can't go on anymore....I'm just too emotional to do anything but post this as PROOF......


:sad: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Andy the Aussie
March 08, 2004, 21:45
You know guys....being the pervert that I am.....I have to say that IF the worst the Tracked One has done is to partake in a little "recreational de-linking" he will probably still get a Commission in a Convent.........!!!!!!!! I on the other hand have a booking in Hell's Titty Bar. I mean.....it's not like he drives an Audi or anything REALLY bad like that.....:tongue: :tongue:

Jon Frum
March 08, 2004, 22:23
Ted shooting suspect ammo. Dawsonville,Ga. 3-6-04

Andy the Aussie
March 08, 2004, 22:39
And at least he had those legs covered this time around.....:biggrin: :beer: ;)

March 08, 2004, 22:43
Are those socks TACTICAL????

March 08, 2004, 23:00
You guys are brutal!!!:rofl: :rofl:

I feel sooo DIRTY...so used......like I've been left holding a DNA stained dress....OH the HORROR of it all....

Yeah, it's kinda like that.

Are those socks TACTICAL????

That's our Evil One. He's trying to cover his sins (de-linking) It's a psychological thing.


March 08, 2004, 23:22
There is nothing at all wrong with delinking. I did it often as a kid. That was the only way I could get it reasonably at that time.

Now I get it with strippers, in bandeauxs.

March 09, 2004, 06:50
(Diamond Dave and Van Halen forgive me)

"I don't feel dirty"

March 11, 2004, 23:09
I only did it until I needed glasses!

March 11, 2004, 23:13
Originally posted by Gremper
I only did it until I needed glasses! :bow: :D :fal:

March 12, 2004, 05:13
That's why I have such SEVERE astigmatism!