The FAL Files  

Go Back   The FAL Files > Discussion Forums > Survival & Preparedness

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old November 29, 2018, 10:21   #1
Story
Registered
 
Story's Avatar
 
FALaholic #: 7638
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Right here
Posts: 9,757
Sphincter symphony blessing

Note: Here because lactose intolerance can turn into a knifey-stabby encounter at the drop of the hat.

Come for the angry lady, stay for the security guard.

Quote:
Florida Woman ‘Farted Loudly,' Threatened to 'Gut' Man Who Complained About It, Police Say
*
Shanetta Yvette Wilson, aged 37, was charged after the incident with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill
*
Earlier this year, a Florida security guard was fired from his job at the Heart of Florida Regional Medical Center after posting videos online of him farting while on-the-job. The man, using the name Paul Flart online, recorded his own sacking in a YouTube video posted in August.

A man informed Flart he was being let go for recording himself farting “75 times” while in uniform. Flart wrote on Twitter: “Flatulence are a normal bodily function. God blessed me with lactose intolerance and I was just trying to bless everyone with my sphincter symphony!”
Do you weather the waves of funk, or risk a duel in the aisles of WalMart?

Discuss.
Story is online now   Reply With Quote
Old November 29, 2018, 11:49   #2
W.E.G.
FAL Files Administrator
Silver Contributor
 
W.E.G.'s Avatar
 
FALaholic #: 1211
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Virginia
Posts: 39,664
Pull my finger.
__________________
.
.
.

Ask me about the Mason-Dixon FAL Collectors Association.
W.E.G. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 29, 2018, 14:05   #3
Bug Tussell
.....
Silver Contributor
 
FALaholic #: 2872
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Bug Tussell Farm in New Mexico
Posts: 5,646
I'm half Japanese... half the time I have milk farts and half the time my white half tolerates it. My wife on the other hand is another matter entirely.
__________________
Make your time
Bug Tussell is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 29, 2018, 15:49   #4
Bawana jim
Registered
 
FALaholic #: 17482
Join Date: May 2005
Location: west coast
Posts: 19,094
Might have had better results if the tune he chose wasn't Marching through Georgia. Plus taking a big dump to clear his tune may not have been a good idea in public.
__________________
yellowhand "Six*men*can shut down the whole state"
Bawana jim is online now   Reply With Quote
Old December 01, 2018, 22:14   #6
RG Coburn
Registered
 
FALaholic #: 27406
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 20,363
My wife out-farts me....
Don't tell her I said that...
RG Coburn is online now   Reply With Quote
Old December 02, 2018, 07:43   #7
Andy2205
Registered
 
FALaholic #: 26110
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fl. Panhandle
Posts: 335
I'm a veteran "crop duster."
__________________
" We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm. "
Andy2205 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 02, 2018, 10:39   #8
Timber Wolf
Registered
 
FALaholic #: 805
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Southern U.S.
Posts: 4,747
More room out than in I say. I come by it honestly, my Grandmother and Mother were both unashamed gas passers in their day.
__________________
First rule of gun fighting: "have a gun!"

"Guns don't kill people. Daddys with good looking daughters do!"
Timber Wolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 02, 2018, 14:49   #9
Bawana jim
Registered
 
FALaholic #: 17482
Join Date: May 2005
Location: west coast
Posts: 19,094
Better to bear the shame than bear the pain.
__________________
yellowhand "Six*men*can shut down the whole state"
Bawana jim is online now   Reply With Quote
Old December 05, 2018, 08:55   #10
Story
Registered
 
Story's Avatar
 
FALaholic #: 7638
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Right here
Posts: 9,757
Trapped at 16,000'.

Quote:
An elderly man's flatulence forced his flight to make an emergency stop after a fight broke out over his barrage of bottom burps.

Passengers flying with budget Dutch airline Transavia from Dubai to Amsterdam were reportedly put out by the man's continued farting, and asked him to stop.

But the man failed to hold it in, and when even a direct order from the pilot didn't take the wind out of his sails, two particularly incensed passengers took matters into their own hands.

Local media reported that two Dutchmen sat next to the trumper started a fight with the man, which escalated to the point where the pilot was forced to make an unscheduled stop.
https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/0...r_man_farting/
Story is online now   Reply With Quote
Old December 05, 2018, 09:52   #11
TenTea
Registered
Contributor
 
TenTea's Avatar
 
FALaholic #: 72247
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisco
Posts: 4,602
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bawana jim View Post
Better to bear the shame than bear the pain.
Good one!
__________________
Wears a backpack.
Rounder upper at MidwayUSA.
Favorite color: ham
Wife's favorite color: glitter
TenTea is online now   Reply With Quote
Old December 05, 2018, 21:33   #12
Seaweed
Curio & Relic
Gold Contributor
 
FALaholic #: 2736
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Newport, OR
Posts: 2,038
My grandson can outfart anybody in the family. I don't know where he got the genes.
Seaweed is online now   Reply With Quote
Old December 06, 2018, 02:23   #13
droid
Registered
 
FALaholic #: 8207
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Between Houston and Victoria, Texas, on the Gulf Coast...
Posts: 310
Enter: Le Pétomane, professional flatulist!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane



https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0mu6i71_AxU
droid is online now   Reply With Quote
Old December 06, 2018, 02:27   #14
droid
Registered
 
FALaholic #: 8207
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Between Houston and Victoria, Texas, on the Gulf Coast...
Posts: 310
Le Pétomane beat him by about 100 years. Remember your due diligence, boys and girls!
droid is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 00:49.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
©1998-2018 The FAL Files