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Old May 17, 2018, 16:25   #51
Cava3r4
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I had something similar happen to me.
way back in 76 I got divorced. I had a son and a daughter.
She divorce me.
She got custody of the kids and the court ordered me to pay support and alimony (the alimony was only for 6 months thank the Lord).
I KNEW the daughter was NOT mine. Real easy... either you DID the deed or you did NOT. Hell, I didn't get laid for the last two years of that marriage.
The court DENIED me the rights to have a blood test (all they care about is WHO is gonna pay....that'd be me!)
8 years later my new wife (currently 38 years with her) knew a "good lawyer" (hows that for an oxymoron?).
He got the blood tests and proved their was ZERO chance of me being the father.
I got custody of my son. All for the princely sum of 900 dollars and the costs of the blood test.
She NEVER did have to pay me back!
She raised the daughter who has had lots of troubles just like her mom.
When I got the son he was 14 by then. He is part idiot too.
Oh well, life goes on, and I got a "KEEPER" this time. The Lord truly blessed me. (I had posted on here on the dream string about how I met my LOVELY current wife).
(here it is so you don't have to search)
A GOOD Dream!
In 1975 I was getting a divorce through no wish of mine. I loved that woman, but she had better plans for herself.
I was working in an Amoco garage as a mechanic, and the pump jockey had not shown up for work yet.
I went out to pump gas as I was the only one there trying to order parts, fix cars, and make a living.
There was this beautiful looking woman in a 72 Chevelle, I was looking at her through the back window as I was putting in the gas. I thought, with a very SORROWFUL heart (not a LUSTFUL one) "Oh God, why didn't I marry someone like her".
In the fall of 1978, I had 3 recurring dreams. they are the kind of dream you have, when you wake up, you think, crap, I want to go back to sleep to catch the rest of the story. But you are wide awake.
THE Dream!
In the dream, I met this woman in front of a big window with a baseboard heater under it and some kind of tower behind it. When she is walking towards me, we are getting ready to talk and BOOM, I wake up.
3 times this happened!!
In March 1979 I had changed jobs and was now a mechanical designer. I talked a co-worker into going to a singles group with me.
There was a blizzard that night (in MN) and cars were all over the road.
We got there safe, but the crowd was small. We were going to leave and we were walking towards the door, when BAM....here is this plate glass window with a baseboard heater and a tower (bell tower) out behind it.
This woman was walking towards me, and asked us to stay as her friend was giving a talk on first aid.
This church building was JUST built in Feb 1979. I dreamed of this building in the fall of 78 and I had NEVER been there or near there before.
I got the woman's phone number and asked her out to dinner.
I've been married to her for 38 wonderful years now, and she was the SAME woman that was in that 72 Chevelle!!
I've been truly BLESSED.
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Old May 18, 2018, 21:37   #52
brunop
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^

Great story.
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Old May 18, 2018, 21:39   #53
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Jaxxas -

You are the man. I'd support my kid(s), but I don't think I'd be the class act that you have been towards the ex.

Good on ya.
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"How we burned in the prison camps later thinking: what would things have been like if every security operative, when he went out at night to make an arrest, had been uncertain whether he would return alive and had to say good-bye to his family? Or if during periods of mass arrests people had simply not sat there in their lairs, paling with terror at every step on the staircase, but had understood they had nothing to lose and had boldly set up in the downstairs hall an ambush of half a dozen people with axes, ham- mers, pokers, or whatever else was at hand. . . . The Organs [police] would very quickly have suffered a shortage of officers . . . and notwithstanding all of Stalin‘s thirst, the cursed machine would have ground to a halt." - A. Solzhenitsyn, Gulag Archipelago
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Old May 18, 2018, 22:24   #54
357ross
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Jaxxas, I've been patiently waiting for a thread like this. Ancestry is going to cause more heartache than it was ever worth, I have my own story as well. You are the man for stepping up like that.
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Old May 18, 2018, 22:40   #55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Right Side Up View Post
it doesn't matter what the DNA is, what matters is what is in the heart.
Amen brother. I was blessed with the opportunity to raise two step sons, plus I adopted and raised two nephews. I am as close to those 4 young men as I am with my two biological kids and love them all dearly.
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Old May 19, 2018, 07:41   #56
AZ Dave
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I raised my wife's 2 boys from her previous marriage but they are just as much my boys as hers. She told me to stay away from her boys after the divorce but they were 18 and 22 at the time so I told her to blow it out her a$$. Your daughter will always be your daughter Jaxx!
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Old May 19, 2018, 08:35   #57
J. Armstrong
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Jaxx, hat's off to you, RSU said it best

Your daughter and you have the kind of relationship that many, many parents/children can only dream of. Cherish it, as you obviously already do !
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Last edited by J. Armstrong; May 19, 2018 at 10:44.
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Old May 20, 2018, 20:56   #58
Right Side Up
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Jaxx, hat's off to you, RSU said it best
We learn a lot about family as an adult. I met my heartfelt Father when I was 25. He ended up being my Father-in-Law. No DNA connection at all, but 1000% family.

I also learned that the only woman that ever really loves a man...is his Mother. (There are a few exceptions, but not many).
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Old May 20, 2018, 21:03   #59
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I did the Ancestry.com DNA test.

Found out I'm my own grandpa!




Actually, my wife and I did do the DNA test and are waiting for the results.
You never know what you'll find out. Was raised being told I was mostly Irish. Turns out to be false. I thought it was weird that there was no direct link back to anyone in Ireland. The best they could do was about 4 generations back, and they were all American.

Turns out I'm English, Swiss, and Norwegian. Y chromosome is a subclade of EV-13 that mutated in the Swiss Alps region a few thousand years ago. Mitochondrial DNA is from Portugal. And My Autosomal DNA, which is about 90% of what a person is....... hot spots on Switzerland, England, and Norway. Go figure.

But anyway, I was able to trace my Y chromosome all the way to England to a guy that came over here and settled in Jamestown, Virginia in 1655.
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Old May 24, 2018, 22:51   #60
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Originally Posted by Jaxxas View Post
Gman my daughter was particularly taken with your wife's plight, thinks she has much worse problems than herself. I hope your wife makes mom fess up, it's good for the soul!
Been too busy to respond until now. I showed my wife your original post and she offered to talk to your daughter if she felt the need. I sincerely appreciate sentiment but her Mom is doubling down on denial...
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