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Old January 11, 2019, 19:44   #1
W.E.G.
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Bent boners?

I’m trying to watch the Motor Trend channel (formerly “Velocity” channel), and they come on with this commercial that starts with some spiel about “Did you know you can injure your penis while having sex?....”

Then they start showing diagrams and talking about the name of the affliction, and patent drugs and providers to straighten your boner.

What in the actual fugk?

I’m glad my mother is no longer alive to be exposed to this shit on TV.

And Netflix won’t load.

Wife has been climbing the walls all day (all WEEK for that matter). Good thing I sent her out in the cold to walk around in the dark before this commercial came on.
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Old January 11, 2019, 19:53   #2
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It's ok. I listen to ED shit all day on conservative talk radio. I think those that are breaking their dick are using those drugs. My wife doesn't pay much attention to them. Don't worry. She did tell me one time about a coworker that screwed up her back real bad because she wanted rough woopie. Don't break it off in them and they're ok
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Old January 11, 2019, 20:20   #3
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Real Medical condition, oh great, saw that crap and thought some bastard was just bragging!
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Old January 11, 2019, 20:37   #4
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Just correct your grip and it will straighten out and get you back on center

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Old January 11, 2019, 20:41   #5
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For the record, former President Willam Jefferson Blythe Clinton was picked from a photo genitalia lineup by Paula Jones. That choice was worth 850K.
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Old January 11, 2019, 20:48   #6
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Actual condition. Apparently some couples get a bit too frisky and the guy effectively snaps the cartilage. Guess they then have to go to the dick doctor.
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Old January 11, 2019, 20:49   #7
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It's ok. I listen to ED shit all day on conservative talk radio.
No kidding. What the hell is it about conservatives and ED ads? It's constant.
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Old January 11, 2019, 21:00   #8
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No kidding. What the hell is it about conservatives and ED ads? It's constant.
Started with that commercial with Bob Dole and Viagra years ago. Couldn't satisfy Elizabeth supposedly ...

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Old January 11, 2019, 21:55   #9
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If these radio signals are being picked up and understood by some alien species out in the Cosmos, then are gonna think that Earth men can't get it up, and the ones who can, break their fragile boners.

BTW, there ain't no cartilage in the bone, man, just blood engorged bladders. So you would think high blood pressure would make you a sexual Tyrannosaurus. But it's actually chewing tobacco that does that. Who knew?
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Old January 11, 2019, 22:09   #10
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and this one time,

with a Redhead,

she tried to ride it & break it off

so I flipped her,

and at least 4 hours later .......

she had a big black & blue spot above the crack of her ass .......
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Old January 11, 2019, 22:29   #11
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If these radio signals are being picked up and understood by some alien species out in the Cosmos, then are gonna think that Earth men can't get it up, and the ones who can, break their fragile boners.

BTW, there ain't no cartilage in the bone, man, just blood engorged bladders. So you would think high blood pressure would make you a sexual Tyrannosaurus. But it's actually chewing tobacco that does that. Who knew?
It turns out there is an unfortunate injury termed "penile fracture" that can indeed occur during sexual intercourse. It is a severe form of bending injury to the erect penis that occurs when a membrane called the tunica albuginea tears. The tunica albuginea surrounds the corpora cavernosa, specialized spongy tissue in the core of the penis that fills up with blood during an erection. When the tunica albuginea tears, the blood that is normally confined to this space leaks out into other tissues.

As one nurse said: "We had this patient who suffered penile fracture after running across the room and trying to penetrate his wife with a flying leap."
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Old January 11, 2019, 22:34   #12
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People are funny, errr strange.
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Old January 12, 2019, 01:18   #13
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I luv this place!

"Broke Dick" has now taken on a new definition............
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Old January 12, 2019, 02:53   #14
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Take It From Bob!
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Old January 12, 2019, 08:33   #15
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While doing a midshift as a young patrol officer, I saw a car parked behind a strip mall with the engine running and lights out. Since this mall had been broken in to several time recently, I decided to check it out. As I drove around the other side, I blacked out and approached the vehicle. The rear passenger door was open and I could clearly see two naked people in the back. When I lit them up with spot and takedown lights, the man, who was on top, froze. He was sprouting an enormous woodie. The female, immediately sat up straight, driving her forehead into his smaller head. I never knew that an erect penis could bend 90 degrees like that. He crumpled out of the car and onto the pavement. After getting their id info, I asked him if he needed EMS and he said no. I told them that since their plans for the evening were obviously ruined, they could be on their way.

I found out later she drove him to the local ER where he was treated.
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Old January 12, 2019, 08:44   #16
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I broke it once, or so I thought, but it was merely a sprain.
Is that TMI?
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Old January 12, 2019, 09:46   #17
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I’m glad my mother is no longer alive to be exposed to this shit on TV.
Once while I was in high school, mom served some spinach for a meal. I refused to eat it and she said, "Aww, go on and have some, it will put lead in your pencil." I replied that I didn't have anyone to write to...
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Old January 12, 2019, 11:24   #18
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Once while I was in high school, mom served some spinach for a meal. I refused to eat it and she said, "Aww, go on and have some, it will put lead in your pencil." I replied that I didn't have anyone to write to...
HAHA!
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Old January 12, 2019, 11:32   #19
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I was working ER years ago and a female brought in a guy with a broken pencil. Seems they broke it messing around. He was in a lot of pain and couldn't sign the medial release forms etc. They had do call his wife to come in and sign. She wasn't the female who brought him in and looked less then happy.

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Old January 12, 2019, 11:36   #20
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Yeah the never ending kotex commercials were bad a few years ago, and the non stop prostate commercials were bad too so I guess this is just the next step...
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Old January 13, 2019, 10:15   #21
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Yeah the never ending kotex commercials were bad a few years ago, and the non stop prostate commercials were bad too so I guess this is just the next step...
You've been warned.




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Old January 13, 2019, 10:42   #22
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A few of the stories in this thread read like tales from TLC's " Sex Sent Me to the ER."

If you guys haven't watched that show, check it out. It's actually kind of entertaining.
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Old January 13, 2019, 11:28   #23
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Hell, I figured it was caused from all the raging hard ons you got while going to junior high school that you couldn't do anything about but sit there at your desk with your eyes crossed.
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Old January 13, 2019, 11:44   #24
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The broken dick syndrome actually happened to a well endowed guy I knew, who was with an ugly faced girl I also knew ( looked like a white Serena Williams), who was just insatiable.

She was a "world class" fellatio expert too, and it apparently happened during one of her crazed orgasms.

Ruined him for years afterwards, I understand. It happened when she was on top and pretending to be the guy screwing a woman.

One or both are now dead, so this happened awhile ago, and I can report on same.

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Old January 13, 2019, 12:30   #25
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Back in the day when I was single, I had a roommate who broke his boner after a wild night with his girl. It was swollen, black and blue, and bent. Yeah, he was so freaked out he insisted that I see it. His girl was upset, too. Went to his doctor and was told he would be okay in a couple weeks.
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Old January 13, 2019, 13:22   #26
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Maybe one of you guys takes it "from Bob"...
Not me....
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Old January 15, 2019, 08:31   #27
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In my Navy days we had a marine nearly die from hemorrhaging due to a fractured penis. They were doing extended field training at Camp Pendleton, and being late at night everyone was supposed to be asleep in their foxholes. Well this guy decides it's a good time to be jerkin' his gherkin, and goes to flailing away. While he's in the midst of this a sentry comes walking around, hears something, and shines his flashlight into the foxhole. Marine, not wanting to be seen what he was doing, rolls real quickly to the side, junk still in hand. He hits the side of the foxhole while firmly gripping his unit, breaking it where the hand no longer supported it. It was a through the tissue tear, it wasn't just crooked, it was crooked and spraying blood like a scene out of the Exorcist. Field Corpsman does his best to get the bleeding under control, and they put him on a Huey and fly him immediately to Naval Hospital San Diego. Got to see it "first hand in the ER," and of everything I've seen in medicine, that's still the 2nd worst on the list of "HOLY $#!+ I DO NOT WANT THAT TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME!!!!!!!" Amazingly though a few units of blood and a hell of a good surgeon later he was fully functional again. Always had the thought though that he might forever go through life with a brace like college football linemen wear on their knees, whether he needed it or not, just to prevent it from ever happening again.

Oh, and if you're wondering what #1 is, google "Fourniers Gangrene," and only look at pics if your constitution is bulletproof. Saw that first hand when I ran a wound care and hyperbaric medicine unit. Fractured junk was knocked down 1 position.
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Old January 15, 2019, 11:49   #28
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Windage & elevation are different when shooting around corners,,, I'm told by a old Gunny whose stacking swivel fell off,,, that's a old Garand joke.
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Old January 15, 2019, 13:54   #29
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In my Navy days we had a marine nearly die from hemorrhaging due to a fractured penis. They were doing extended field training at Camp Pendleton, and being late at night everyone was supposed to be asleep in their foxholes. Well this guy decides it's a good time to be jerkin' his gherkin, and goes to flailing away. While he's in the midst of this a sentry comes walking around, hears something, and shines his flashlight into the foxhole. Marine, not wanting to be seen what he was doing, rolls real quickly to the side, junk still in hand. He hits the side of the foxhole while firmly gripping his unit, breaking it where the hand no longer supported it. It was a through the tissue tear, it wasn't just crooked, it was crooked and spraying blood like a scene out of the Exorcist. Field Corpsman does his best to get the bleeding under control, and they put him on a Huey and fly him immediately to Naval Hospital San Diego. Got to see it "first hand in the ER," and of everything I've seen in medicine, that's still the 2nd worst on the list of "HOLY $#!+ I DO NOT WANT THAT TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME!!!!!!!" Amazingly though a few units of blood and a hell of a good surgeon later he was fully functional again. Always had the thought though that he might forever go through life with a brace like college football linemen wear on their knees, whether he needed it or not, just to prevent it from ever happening again.

Oh, and if you're wondering what #1 is, google "Fourniers Gangrene," and only look at pics if your constitution is bulletproof. Saw that first hand when I ran a wound care and hyperbaric medicine unit. Fractured junk was knocked down 1 position.


Ugh!
Had one of my soldiers catch a piece of flying steel plate in the groin, clean hit, took off the whole package.
1st time I ever did cut downs on ankles, even ran a line on the top of his head.
Packed up the remains of his equipment, what we could locate, and sent it in with him.
Never heard about the outcome, but not much was left.
Shit happens, and some days, really bad shit happens.
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Old January 15, 2019, 16:13   #30
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That's why I quit using urine to "neutralize" the corrosive fouling from shooting old ammo in the Garand.

Nozzle placement was precarious, and I could never get my assistant holding the rifle to be still.
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Old January 15, 2019, 16:28   #31
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That's why I quit using urine to "neutralize" the corrosive fouling from shooting old ammo in the Garand.

Nozzle placement was precarious, and I could never get my assistant holding the rifle to be still.
Plus, there is one thing much, much worse than "Garand thumb"
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Old January 15, 2019, 18:42   #32
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That's why I quit using urine to "neutralize" the corrosive fouling from shooting old ammo in the Garand.

Nozzle placement was precarious, and I could never get my assistant holding the rifle to be still.
Hard to find a good range dog or in your case, a weapons carrier.
Did ya offer medical, 401K, stock options,company car???
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Old January 15, 2019, 18:52   #33
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That's why I quit using urine to "neutralize" the corrosive fouling from shooting old ammo in the Garand.
Didn't you guys breath through urine-soaked rags during gas attacks by the Hun?

No, wait a second, I was thinking about martin35 I believe. I think he was a doughboy!
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Old January 15, 2019, 19:38   #34
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Didn't you guys breath through urine-soaked rags during gas attacks by the Hun?

No, wait a second, I was thinking about martin35 I believe. I think he was a doughboy!
Naw, he rode with Teddy, sat out the 1st, said tha wimmen in France were hairy and all, could not compare with them spanish ladies.
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Old January 15, 2019, 20:01   #35
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What? No redheads in France?
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Old January 15, 2019, 20:03   #36
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Old January 15, 2019, 20:03   #37
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You've been warned.




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I think Ricky had more fun than Karl.
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Old January 16, 2019, 00:45   #38
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What? No redheads in France?
Don't know, never will either.

To see, if the collar and cuffs match, whew, the smell will drive a man to drink it will!

Which is why all Frenchmen sit around drinking all day.

Deadens the senses it do.
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Old January 16, 2019, 01:00   #39
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Spent 10 years in Military Medicine, seen it!
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Old January 16, 2019, 09:12   #40
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Don't know, never will either.

To see, if the collar and cuffs match, whew, the smell will drive a man to drink it will!

Which is why all Frenchmen sit around drinking all day.

Deadens the senses it do.
"In this supposed epoch of globalization, France appears to remain so different in matters of hygiene from many of its European neighbors that the newspaper Le Figaro recently devoted an entire page to the subject. It found that:

* While the average Briton uses 3 pounds of soap annually and the average German 2.9 pounds, the average Frenchman uses 1.3 pounds--meaning four to five cakes of soap are made to stretch out over an entire year."


That was taken from this back in 1998, and there is more of course :

http://articles.latimes.com/1998/dec/12/news/mn-53299
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heavily armed, easily pissed.
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Old January 16, 2019, 09:24   #41
meltblown
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Originally Posted by Texgunner View Post
"In this supposed epoch of globalization, France appears to remain so different in matters of hygiene from many of its European neighbors that the newspaper Le Figaro recently devoted an entire page to the subject. It found that:

* While the average Briton uses 3 pounds of soap annually and the average German 2.9 pounds, the average Frenchman uses 1.3 pounds--meaning four to five cakes of soap are made to stretch out over an entire year."


That was taken from this back in 1998, and there is more of course :

http://articles.latimes.com/1998/dec/12/news/mn-53299

I would say that for the most part there are some stinky Frenchies. I noticed it on many occasions. Got on a bus at CDG after an all night flight and almost puked when some guy stood next to me. Started yelling at him to move away.
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Old January 16, 2019, 10:45   #42
yellowhand
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texgunner View Post
"In this supposed epoch of globalization, France appears to remain so different in matters of hygiene from many of its European neighbors that the newspaper Le Figaro recently devoted an entire page to the subject. It found that:

* While the average Briton uses 3 pounds of soap annually and the average German 2.9 pounds, the average Frenchman uses 1.3 pounds--meaning four to five cakes of soap are made to stretch out over an entire year."


That was taken from this back in 1998, and there is more of course :

http://articles.latimes.com/1998/dec/12/news/mn-53299
Best advice I ever got, was when boarding a river sight seeing boat outside Paris one summer, when another GI and his wife getting off told us to make damn sure we stood in the bow!!!!!

That open sewer which runs through Paris, ain't got nuthin on them ladies walking around that town.
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Old January 17, 2019, 07:42   #43
1769
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meltblown View Post
I would say that for the most part there are some stinky Frenchies. I noticed it on many occasions. Got on a bus at CDG after an all night flight and almost puked when some guy stood next to me. Started yelling at him to move away.
Well, with women that smell like that....no need to worry about bent boners.
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Old January 23, 2019, 22:51   #44
Cava3r4
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there is a thing called peronies disease. Don't know if I got the spelling right, but it means you have a "bent dick"
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