MRE #15 - BEEF ENCHILADA

[W.E.G.]

MRE 15 - beef enchilada

[W.E.G.]

The pack

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Beef enchilada ingredients

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Beef enchilada nutrition

[W.E.G.]

OMG – they’re gonna make me eat REFRIED BEANS with the enchilada.

They know not what they do.

[W.E.G.]

Nutrition?

I think they need something more like a VOLATILITY rating.

[W.E.G.]

AND Picante Sauce?

Are these people sick???

Probably more like rocket fuel. Oh well. Maybe it just hastens digestion so the poor troop can go ahead and get it over with.

[W.E.G.]

Ingredients.

Let’s see… Napalm, Naptha, Kerosene, Oxidizer….

[W.E.G.]

Vegetable Crackers?

WTF?

Is this some sort of secret ingredient in a Mexican Meal?

[W.E.G.]

“Granulated Vegetable Blend”

That’s what I’M talkin’ about!

[W.E.G.]

Coooooooo-kieeeeee!!!!

We’ve done MRE molasses cookies before.
http://www.falfiles.com/forums/showt...04#post1868304

[W.E.G.]

Some sort of Tang stuff I think.

I wonder if there is a way to make wine out of this?

I love the way the military names stuff. Just look at that label.

[W.E.G.]

Enema sleeve…errr…I mean “Cheese Spread with Jalepeños.

Fargin’ gringo packers left the tilde off.

[W.E.G.]

Condiments, etc.

[W.E.G.]

Let’s start with those vegetable crackers.

[W.E.G.]

These things taste kinda like those “Captain’s Wafers” they put on the table at some restaurants to keep you from blowing a gasket over the slow service - but fresher than the ones in the restaurants.

Close up.

[W.E.G.]

Gotta eat these things with the Enem… uhh, I mean “Cheese Spread with Jalepeños.

[W.E.G.]

Smear it around some.

[W.E.G.]

Let’s bust out that burrito and get it started in the microwave while I’m munching on the cheese crackers.

Comin’ at ya!

[W.E.G.]

Ahhh!!!……

[W.E.G.]

OK, while that THING is heating in the microwave (2:22 on 50%), the cheese crackers are lighting me up already.

I’m definitely not drinking the MRE Tang to try to wash it down.

Get me something civilized.

[W.E.G.]

Whew. That’s better. I’m ready for anything now.

Uhhh…ALMOST anything.

[W.E.G.]

I knoooowwwwwww you want some.

[W.E.G.]

But, its not ready yet.

You didn’t forget about the REFRIED BEANS did you?

[W.E.G.]

Godzilla vs. Megalon

[W.E.G.]

Into the incubator to create hideous spawn.

[W.E.G.]

I know you REALLLLLLY want some now.

[W.E.G.]

I can hardly wait.

[W.E.G.]

Ooooooooooooohhhhh!!!!!!!!

(sorry about the fuzzy pic – I just couldn’t stop laughing and aim the camera)

[W.E.G.]

Here.

Have a bite!

[W.E.G.]

And let’s not forget that PICANTE SAUCE!

[W.E.G.]

I can’t believe I at the WHOLE THING.

[W.E.G.]

Alright, actually this meal was pretty darn good.

The crackers and cheese was very spicy, but not really “hot.” I palatable beverage is required however.

The main entrée – enchilada, refried beans and picante sauce was very good. The texture of the tortialla was the most lacking element. Way too gummy. But, the flavor of the burrito and the beans was quite good. The flavor of the picante sauce was also very good, and somewhat sweet – even though the ingredients don’t suggest that a lot of sweetener is used in the sauce.

The cookie will probably be dry as the others I’ve had. I’ll cheat with some ice cream and the cookie after I get a chance to go to the store.

I’m hoarding the coffee packs. Maybe by 2008 I’ll have enough of them to actually make one proper cup of coffee.

If anybody has fermentation recipes for the “Tang” stuff, please let me know. I’m sure that would be a LOT more fun than just drinking MRE Tang.

[DFWBob]

Our moderators are the best.....

You put your life on the line in the name of a taste test.

This is the funniest one yet.

Bob

[W.E.G.]

I forgot to mention that I ate meals at Mexican joints for lunch on Saturday, and then again for dinner on Sunday.

Now this.

My colon's been twitchin' like the bejeezus since 1700.

[Diomed]

Have you considered publishing these reviews on MREinfo.com?

[Barbcue]

W.E.G.

are you shure you should be eating these things so often ??

I know your on a roll ..but good god man.. be careful !

[fuzzyfal]

geez W.E.G. what did you do. buy all of the surplus mre's from ameriquall?

[festus]

Originally posted by W.E.G.
I forgot to mention that I ate meals at Mexican joints for lunch on Saturday, and then again for dinner on Sunday.

Now this.

My colon's been twitchin' like the bejeezus since 1700.

I'll be watching the news for courthouse evacuations due to sickening odors of "unknown origin" . That stuff looks good, a lot better than the slop I cook up.

[leek]

To finish off this topic I think you should post pixs of the post evac in the toilet. You could also rate the MRE on the amount of TP needed for clean up. Now come on, we don't all have endless supplies of TP and this is an important consideration. The scat could also be rated of hardness/ amount of fiber, etc.

For Gods sake , we need to know this. DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!

[W.E.G.]

My colon is twitching (still) right now from that BEEF ENCHILADA meal I ate yesterday.

I tried to take pics of the aftermath, but the lens kept fogging up.

He hate me.

[Dirt1042]

Why do you keep punishing yourself? Another tip: Don't open the cheese from the top, instead knead the pack so it softens up, then fold the packet in half so it splits the cheese, then bite a small hole on the fold, then you should be able to "squirt out" the cheese through the hole ala EZcheese, this way you don't have to contanimate your brown spoon.

[W.E.G.]

Originally posted by Dirt1042
...so it splits the cheese

Trust me, after eating this meal, I have had no trouble whatsoever "splitting the cheese."

Verily, everybody wishes I wouldn't.

Several dumps, and my colon was about in a spasm.
So I just went McDonald's and ate a couple cheeseburgers.
It doesn't seem to be helping.

[DFWBob]

Originally posted by W.E.G.
I forgot to mention that I ate meals at Mexican joints for lunch on Saturday, and then again for dinner on Sunday.

Now this.

My colon's been twitchin' like the bejeezus since 1700.

With a diet like that I do not think you have to worry about Polyps. I bet your GI doctor is disappointed.

Bob

[SmokeEater2]

Originally posted by DFWBob


With a diet like that I do not think you have to worry about Polyps. I bet your GI doctor is disappointed.

Bob

Dissapointed?! Hell, The poor doc better lean how to dodge and duck!

[W.E.G.]

OK.

Things are settlin' down a might.

I ate a cheese sandwich (hard cheese the wife bought from Whole Foods), and I swiped a pack of my kid's Nabisco peanut butter crackers. Did I mention three cups of Starbucks coffee, then sat on a hard bench for three hours?
Drinkin' some Budweiser now.

Maybe I'll get me some of them "huevos rancheros" en la mañana.

[Hoploholic]

Originally posted by W.E.G.
Alright, actually this meal was pretty darn good.

The crackers and cheese was very spicy, but not really “hot.” I palatable beverage is required however.

The main entrée – enchilada, refried beans and picante sauce was very good. The texture of the tortialla was the most lacking element. Way too gummy. But, the flavor of the burrito and the beans was quite good. The flavor of the picante sauce was also very good, and somewhat sweet – even though the ingredients don’t suggest that a lot of sweetener is used in the sauce.

The cookie will probably be dry as the others I’ve had. I’ll cheat with some ice cream and the cookie after I get a chance to go to the store.

I’m hoarding the coffee packs. Maybe by 2008 I’ll have enough of them to actually make one proper cup of coffee.

If anybody has fermentation recipes for the “Tang” stuff, please let me know. I’m sure that would be a LOT more fun than just drinking MRE Tang.

We'll call it hooch. Mix "tang" like package per directions. Next you will need one package raisins, osmotic. If you have enough "tang" to fill half of a one gallon milk jug, then do so. Dump in the raisins and place a ballon over the mouth of the jug. Let the osmotic "tang" sit in a dark corner for a number of weeks. You should notice that the ballon inflates over time...this a "good" thing. When the need is great enough, hit the hooch like its a cheap whore. Be forewarned though, this whore still has teeth and she is known to bite.

[W.E.G.]

I think I posted this before.

But its good stuff. I'm sure it could be modified for MRE ingredients.
A lot of the MRE fruit dishes have a lot of salt in them too.
Does salt inhibit the fermenation process?

http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.co...-jailhouse.htm

Recipe #1: Classic Pruno (by Hank Soboski)
This recipe is part of prison folklore to the extent it was described in detail in a famous poem called Recipe For Prison Pruno by prison poet Jarvis Masters. (See bottom of page.) Using nothing but the poem for reference, I proceeded.

What You’ll Need:
A Sealable Bag (Ziploc or a heavy-duty garbage bag with rubber bands)
10 Peeled Oranges
1 8oz Can of Fruit Cocktail
50 Sugar Cubes
6 Teaspoons of Ketchup
Tap Water

Day 1
I combined the oranges and fruit cocktail in a large Ziploc bag, sealed it tightly, then spent fifteen minutes squeezing and mashing it lovingly until it was the consistency of a pulpy paste. I added 16 ounces of tap water and resealed the bag.

I ran hot water over the bag for fifteen minutes, then wrapped it in three towels to insulate the heat and start the fermentation process. The bag ends up being the size, weight and temperature of a newborn infant and you may start having tender feelings for the cute little beast. This is normal. Especially when this realize when this baby grows up he’s going to get you drunk. I hid my baby in safe, dark place and let it sit undisturbed for forty-eight hours.

Day 3
I unwrapped the towels to discover my baby had ballooned up nicely. This, I surmised, was due to the gasses given off by the fermentation process. I opened the bag and it gave off a light scent of, well, rotting fruit. I added fifty cubes of sugar and six packets of Heinz Ketchup. After resealing the bag, I waited for the sugar cubes to dissolve, then kneaded the pulp a little to ensure a good mix. It struck me that I could have very well used uncubed sugar. I ran it under hot water for thirty minutes to make things pleasant for the bacteria, then rewrapped my baby in towels and put it back in a safe dark, place.

Day 4 and Day 5
I kept a close eye on my prodigy. The sugar accelerated the fermentation process and by Day Five it looked as if my baby was thinking about exploding into something I didn’t care to clean up. I opened a corner of the bag and let off a little gas.

Day 6 through Day 8
I reheated the bag in the sink for fifteen minutes every day, then rewrapped it in towels. I noticed a floating colony of mold that had taken up residence was growing very nicely. Was my baby sick? Was this normal? Was there no hotline I could call? I put it back in its safe place and hoped for the best.

Day 9
Gripped by a mixture of anticipation and dread, I unwrapped the bag and opened it. As a precaution, I had scented toilet paper stuffed up my nose, but the bouquet still came on like a rotten gauntlet across the snout. My baby had mutated into some form of Frankenstein creature with very bad personal hygiene. I quickly ladled out the large pieces of rotten fruit and the spectacularly successful mold colony, then strained the remainder through a tea strainer.

The Taste Test
I had to fight hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution and instinct to get down the first swallow. Even with my nose stuffed with toilet paper, my first instinct was to vomit out what my lizard brain told me was deadly poison.
But I remembered that I reacted the same way to my first taste of whiskey and carried on. I fended off the idea of mixing it—with drain cleaner, gasoline, anything.

I forced down a cup’s worth, expecting it to eventually get easier. It didn’t. Each new swallow was a fresh insult. I added ice in hopes it would mask the taste or at least kill some of the bacteria. Aside from tasting like moldy and rotted fruit, it tingled against my tongue as vast bacteria colonies rose up and counter-attacked.

When I’d fought and gagged my way through half the first pint, my stomach started rebelling. I could imagine what it was thinking: “Great God, we’re being poisoned! And, get a load of this shit, the fucker keeps sending more down! Are we committing suicide? Did I miss a ******* meeting?”
To put it bluntly, classic pruno tastes like a bottle of Thunderbird filtered through a dumpster full of rotted garbage. Also, a stray dog laps it up from the alley floor and vomits it into a dirty hubcap.

Did it get me drunk? A pint of pruno earned me a mild buzz. Not a “snifter of brandy on the balcony” buzz. But rather a wretched, stomach-churning, sour-mouthed buzz. The equivalent of back alley sex with a toothless crack whore. It’s sex, yes, but you feel more horrified than satisfied.
I’ve never felt a great deal of sympathy for our nation’s prisoners, but I do now.

[calvinike]

W.E.G.

That pruno story is hilarious. It reminds me of the time my friends and I drank a case of Mickey's Malt Liquor that had been sitting in the trunk of a car on a 90+ degree day for 12 hours.

[calvinike]

To expound on Barbeque:

You might want to try experimenting with something more enjoyable, like self performed dental surgery with a hammer drill.