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Old December 06, 2017, 20:39   #1
Story
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Burglary suspect says armed midgets chased him

Burglary suspect says armed midgets chased him.

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An Orangeburg man is accused of breaking into a neighbor’s home while armed a rifle. He says he was only running from the midgets, according to an incident report.
Orangeburg County Sheriff’s Office deputies charged Matthew Robert Lollar, 28, of 1392 Dogwood Drive, with first-degree burglary on Wednesday.
The homeowner called deputies to his home at 4:27 p.m. when he noticed one of the front windows was damaged.

Lollar was then spotted climbing out of the window of his own home and walking toward the nearby woods and pond.
The homeowner’s son followed Lollar and found him bleeding.
The homeowner’s son determined that Lollar may have been involved with the burglary.
Lollar told deputies that he was at his residence “drinking and smoking with two midgets, male and a female,” a sheriff’s office incident report states.
He told deputies he didn’t know the pair, but claimed they were contractors his mother hired.
He said they reminded him of “the dwarves from the movie Lord of the Rings.”
Lollar alleged the “midgets became upset with him and pulled two .22-caliber rifles out” so he fled from them.
He told deputies he later realized the rifles were BB guns, but he “continued to run because the midgets were still chasing him,” the report states.
Lollar said he grabbed a rifle, which deputies located at the homeowner’s residence.
He told deputies that he shattered the front window of his neighbor’s home and entered it “to get away from the midgets,” the report said.

He then ran through the residence and locked himself in the bathroom.
Lollar told deputies the “midgets entered the residence through the air vents and teamed up with a male subject to come and attack him,” the report states.
He said he managed to escape to his own residence, but once he got there “the midgets then came back” so he climbed out of the window of his own home and ran into the woods to the pond.

He told deputies that he hadn’t slept in five days and that he’d been taking Adderall and smoking marijuana, the report said.
He estimated that he’d taken five Adderall on Wednesday. Adderall is a stimulant used to treat narcolepsy and attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder.
The deputy described Lollar was “extremely wet.” He had cuts on his hands.
At the homeowner’s residence, deputies saw damage to the front door, blood splotches and more damage throughout.
The bathroom “was extremely messy.”
A deputy noted water damage to the floor from Lollar allegedly pulling the toilet from the wall.
“Lots of blood was located inside of the toilet and on the wall and the other damage was done as well,” the report states.
http://thetandd.com/news/burglary-su...07a7a49cd.html

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Old December 06, 2017, 21:19   #2
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You just can't make this shit up
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Old December 06, 2017, 21:33   #3
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Old December 06, 2017, 21:38   #4
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Old December 06, 2017, 21:53   #5
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My favorite still has to be yesterday's "Attack Of The Lizard Perople"

http://komonews.com/news/local/armed...-lizard-people

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Armed with assault rifle, Pierce County man prepares to battle 'lizard people'. A 55-year-old Eatonville man armed himself with an AK-47 and a pistol over the weekend to battle "the lizard people," the Pierce County Sheriff's Office said.

The man told law enforcement that President Trump had called to warn him. The man ended up being sent to a hospital for treatment and a mental health evaluation.
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Old December 07, 2017, 10:13   #6
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Bet this guy was there, too.
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Old December 07, 2017, 17:36   #7
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My favorite still has to be yesterday's "Attack Of The Lizard Perople"

http://komonews.com/news/local/armed...-lizard-people
I bring you the most impotentest of newz.

Meanwhile, back at the Topic; Midgets can be lethal threats / tread carefully
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Old December 07, 2017, 17:40   #8
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Stop laughing. It only encourages me to drop trou, squat over my keyboard and share more of the same.
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Old December 07, 2017, 21:01   #9
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Old December 27, 2017, 12:19   #10
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I had a guy tell me he was beaten by midget. He said he was making jokes about midgets. The guy kicked him in the NUTS. As in bend over in pain the guy started hitting him in the face. As he fell down he got a good beating he said. He said the guy was like a little buzz saw.
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Old January 01, 2018, 09:06   #11
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