PDA

View Full Version : VIAGRA SPILL REVIVES LAKE MICHIGAN


Derby FALs
February 12, 2003, 22:28
VIAGRA SPILL REVIVES LAKE MICHIGAN
Once-Cold and Torpid, Waterway Now Greatest of Great Lakes

Chicago (SatireWire.com) A freighter containing 62,000 metric tons of popular impotence drug Viagra struck a reef and sank in Lake Michigan today. As a result, the once-frigid lake no longer dangles into Illinois and Indiana, but now spans majestically across northern Wisconsin.

According to eyewitnesses, roughly 30 to 60 minutes after the ship's contents dissolved, the lake slowly but firmly began to push northwest toward Minnesota. Eventually, its swollen banks managed to poke aside Lake Superior, which cartographers said will lose its standing as the largest of the Great Lakes for the next four to six hours.

Time-Lapse Satellite Images
http://www.satirewire.com/news/july02/images/lakebefore.jpg

http://www.satirewire.com/news/july02/images/lakemiddle.jpg

http://www.satirewire.com/news/july02/images/lakeafter.jpg

Area residents were surprised by the sudden shift, but conceded Michigan was "like an entirely new lake."

"For so many years that lake just, you know, sat there," said Martha Strop of Eau Claire, Wisc. "To be honest, I never even thought about it anymore. There wasn't much of a point. But now, well, this has changed our lives forever."

Government officials, however, were more cautious.

In Wisconsin, Gov. Doyle declared a state of emergency, while in Minnesota, Gov. Jesse Ventura declared: "Is Lake Michigan a threat, or is it just glad to see me?"


LINK (http://www.satirewire.com/news/july02/viagra.shtml)

Falunga
February 12, 2003, 23:11
Nice! But we threw out that anti-gun lame-duck republican governor McCallum this December. The governor is Doyle who is just as anti-2nd but next time we will have a better showing with a real 2nd-amendment candidate for governor -Ed Thompson. You will bet your sweet arse that when he gets elected the gun laws will disappear by executive order and with a stroke of the pen all the unconstitutional laws will be repealed.

Vote Libertarian!

Jim :fal: FALunga in North Freedom Wisconsin