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Heat
August 31, 2010, 15:32
> For those that don't know about history ... Here is a condensed version:
>
> Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
>
> The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
>
> 1. Liberals, and
> 2. Conservatives
>
> Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.
> Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
>
>
> Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement...
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> Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
>
>
> Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
>
>
> Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.
>
> Modern liberals liked imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported >bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
>
>
> Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
>
>
> Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
>
>
> Here ends today's lesson in world history:
>
> It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.
>
> A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off.
>
>
> And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self... I'm going to have another beer.

Survey Punk
August 31, 2010, 16:10
Yep, that's a good one!
First time I heard it I kicked the slats out of my crib I laughed so hard. :smile:

JB

ggiilliiee
August 31, 2010, 16:28
north eeeduho..awww the industreul capetal of the world ....
didnt a lib get your gun to work ..

lets review ..libtards came up with
lap and polish,,checkin for hammer follow (when you repubs were makin shit)..the bump test for not blowing yer brains out by not understanding pre explained (shit)..brass strikes ..sheared bullet tips ..actions that run twice as fast and reliably ..the best timing tool on the market (that gets ignored cause of the clanstupidity)..the best bbl shaver too

conservative nugent petting zoo hunt wanna bee's ...

how to put a barrel on off line ....and shoot another 400 dollars worth of ammo thru it and MAYBE it will work better .......

and only a idiot would drink Pissweiser ......

brunop
August 31, 2010, 16:51
Originally posted by ggiilliiee

lets review ..libtards came up with
lap and polish,,checkin for hammer follow...

.......

and only a idiot would drink Pissweiser ......


Um, no you didn't. And, as a free tip, Al Gore did NOT invent the internet. I guess that's another libtard move - taking credit where it's not due? You are the one that we've all been waiting for, ggiilliiee... (after Obama, I mean).


Captain Obvious strikes again. Budweiser isn't good beer.

martin35
August 31, 2010, 21:16
When do you know you've had enough of a mind altering substance?
When you understand ggiilliiee.

Douglas S Graham
September 01, 2010, 20:44
No drug on the planet could possibly make me understand the ggglliillleee
nonsense.

I don't do drugs, maybe that's the problem.

bykerhd
September 01, 2010, 21:11
ggglliillleee was better behaved and even fairly understandable when he was first allowed back in.
I've noticed he is getting less comprehensible all the time.
Pity that as I actually READ some of his posts after the ban was lifted.
I spend enough time at work dealing with the brain damaged, incoherent. illiterate and incomprehensible. Lots of engineers actually.:biggrin: I don't waste my time with it or ggglliillleee here.

SWOHFAL
September 01, 2010, 22:45
Originally posted by bykerhd
ggglliillleee was better behaved and even fairly understandable when he was first allowed back in.
I've noticed he is getting less comprehensible all the time.
Pity that as I actually READ some of his posts after the ban was lifted.
I spend enough time at work dealing with the brain damaged, incoherent. illiterate and incomprehensible. Lots of engineers actually.:biggrin: I don't waste my time with it or ggglliillleee here.

He must've found the stash he hid before being sent to rehab at county.