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n-man
February 17, 2009, 18:04
I thought this would help all of us who are working toward our WECSOG degree.

TOOLS EXPLAINED

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching
flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the
chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the
freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner
where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere
under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints
and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you
to say, 'Oh sh -- '

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their
holes until you die of old age.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation
of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor
touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more
dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt
heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer
intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the
grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing
race.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops
to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit
into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of
the outside edge.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under
lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil
on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out
Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used
to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and
butchering your palms.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays
is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts
adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly
well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic
bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic
parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in
use.

DAMN-IT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage
while yelling 'DAMN-IT' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most

often, the next tool that you will need.

EAB1911
February 17, 2009, 18:40
:rofl: Thats pretty funny

mountainman
February 17, 2009, 18:53
I especially like the bandsaw one. A while ago I quit a job because I didn't have the heart to keep on doing that to the boss. It usually happened after all the master machinists were yapping how I left too much meat on the workpieces. Couple weeks after quitting I needed him to fill out a reference form on me for the School Board and he said on it that he'd hire me back if I went back.

Eric Bryant
February 17, 2009, 19:03
I think that was originally published by Peter Egan (Cycle World; Road & Track) sometime last decade. It's still funny! :rofl:

W.E.G.
February 17, 2009, 19:23
IIRC, we can thank blackbird (http://www.falfiles.com/forums/member.php?s=&action=getinfo&userid=5487) for this one.

http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd7/rkba2da/WECSOG/WECSOG-jetermethod.jpg

fastback65
February 18, 2009, 01:48
First posted here by me January 09, 2006 22:30




Still funny

sfbadger
April 13, 2009, 23:22
I hate to ask an embarrassing question but I'm tired of being ignorant. Can someone please tell me what WECSOG stands for? :?

Thanks in advance for the answer and please don't tell anybody I asked? :rolleyes: :biggrin:

shlomo
April 14, 2009, 08:54
Originally posted by sfbadger
I hate to ask an embarrassing question but I'm tired of being ignorant. Can someone please tell me what WECSOG stands for? :?

We Execute Cratered, Sloppy, Oversized Gasports.:|

W.E.G.
April 14, 2009, 08:58
Originally posted by sfbadger
I hate to ask an embarrassing question but I'm tired of being ignorant. Can someone please tell me what WECSOG stands for? :?

Thanks in advance for the answer and please don't tell anybody I asked? :rolleyes: :biggrin:


Pssssst.... http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd7/rkba2da/WECSOG/WECSOGgunsandammo.jpg

shlomo
April 14, 2009, 09:07
Has to play it straight, didn't ya, WEG?

No evil intent in my post, just the best I could come up with on short notice.

sfbadger
April 14, 2009, 11:42
Thank you, WEG. :cool:

shlomo, what..... that's the best you could come up with? :eek:

shlomo
April 14, 2009, 12:24
Originally posted by sfbadger


shlomo, what..... that's the best you could come up with? :eek:

Hey, it's free, okay? I have good moments and bad ones. Mosta the time, the voices give me decent material, but today's their day off.

I mean, I'm bustin' my chops here. Throw me a bone, okay?

Blue Monster
April 14, 2009, 12:29
Side Glances, my favorite column by my favorite auto related author: Peter Egan.

I quote it often :D

sfbadger
April 14, 2009, 15:02
Originally posted by shlomo


Hey, it's free, okay? I have good moments and bad ones. Mosta the time, the voices give me decent material, but today's their day off.

I mean, I'm bustin' my chops here. Throw me a bone, okay?

Okay, okay, point taken. I guess nobody bats 1000? :whiskey: